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Pain during sex: causes and solutions.

Sex should be fun and enjoyable. That fun can be spoiled if you have pain during sex. It is not strange if you have pain during sex: it is very common. It is annoying. Fortunately, there are a lot of solutions.

Is pain during sex normal?

Pain during sex is very common. Both penis owners and vulva owners. That doesn't mean it belongs. On the contrary. If you experience pain during sex, it's time to act.

What are the possible causes and solutions of pain during sex? People with a vagina

The possible causes of pain during sex vary widely. Causes can be both physical and psychological. If you are unsure about your cause of pain, always visit your doctor.

Some common causes – and corresponding solutions – in people with a vagina are:

Your vagina is wet enough

If your vagina isn't moist enough, it can feel burning when something or someone goes inside. If you nevertheless have penetrative sex, your vagina can be damaged, so that sex hurts again the next time. A painful vicious circle. Not good.

Take the time (together) to get wet enough. And talk to your partner about this. If you still need some help, consider using a natural lubricant.

Tension or vaginismus

You are tense. This allows you to tighten the muscles around your vagina unnoticed. The unconscious contraction of the pelvic floor muscles is also called vaginismus.

Tension has various causes. Maybe it's because of fear of pain, you don't feel comfortable, or you've had unpleasant sexual experiences in the past. Your doctor can refer you to professional help to address your underlying causes.

Your cervix is ​​hit

Don't panic: your cervix can literally take a beating. But if a penis, finger or toy touches your cervix, it can feel uncomfortable or even hurt.

Do not wait to penetrate until you are fully aroused. Then your vagina is deeper and wider. You can also try a different position. If your cervix is ​​hit because your opponent is (too) large, you can use a punch pad, such as the Ohnut. You slide this over the penis, so that it can enter just a little less deeply.

A fungal infection

Fungal infections are caused by an excess of the fungus 'candida', which occurs naturally in your body. Almost two thirds of Dutch women sometimes suffer from vaginal infections.

The term 'fungal infection' does not sound very pleasant. But don't be ashamed: a fungal infection often means that you have been too hygienic. Stop washing your vagina with soap or intimate care products, as this increases the risk of infection. Your vagina is actually super good at self-cleaning. Washing with lukewarm water is sufficient!

Do you suspect you have a yeast infection because you suffer from itching, redness or a burning sensation? Then visit the doctor. With the right remedy, you will be rid of it within a day! If you are sure that you have a fungal infection - because you are an expert by experience - then you can also simply get these remedies at the drugstore.

(Too) wild sex

Sometimes your or your partner's sexual preferences lead to pain during sex. Does your partner do something that hurts and you don't like that pain? Then talk about this and look together for a mode that you both like.

Hypersensitivity to substances

Do you use a condom, toy or ointment? Then your pain could be caused by an allergic reaction. Try latex-free condoms and use natural water-based lubricants. With a water-based lubricant you can be sure that you are in the right place: in combination with silicone toys in a silicone-based lubricant, a bad idea.


Chlamydia, genital herpes and gonorrhea are particularly common in the Netherlands. Symptoms of chlamydia are: pain or burning sensation when urinating, pain in your lower abdomen, discharge from the vagina that looks different than normal and minor bleeding. You can recognize genital herpes by painful, burning blisters around your genitals. Gonorrhea has few symptoms. A periodic STD test - if you have changing bed partners and have sex without a condom - is therefore a good idea.

Do you suspect you have an STD? Then visit the GGD or the general practitioner.

Cysts on the ovaries

A cyst is a fluid-filled cavity. Cysts can be very painful during sex, especially if they burst. Do you feel a stabbing, aching pain? Then go to the doctor.


Endometriosis has been getting more and more attention lately. Fortunately, because it occurs in 1 in 10 people with a uterus. In people with endometriosis, endometrial tissue grows outside the uterus.Do you often suffer from abdominal pain, pain deep in the vagina, very heavy and painful menstruation and painful intestines? Then visit the doctor.

What Causes Pain During Sex? People with a penis

The penis is less sensitive than the vagina. Pain during sex is therefore less common in people with a penis. Lucky bastards. But it still happens! Some causes are:

  • You are allergic or hypersensitive to the condom, toy or ointment you use. Try natural lubricants and latex-free condoms.
  • Tight feeling due to a condom that is too tight. Try one size bigger.
  • You could have an STD. You can rule this out – or remedy it – by going to the GGD or general practitioner.
  • A pulling, stiff or dry feeling during sex can easily be remedied with some lubricant.
  • A too tight or torn bridle. The frenulum, also called frenulum, is the tendon between your glans and foreskin. If your froth has torn, leave your penis alone for a while, until it has healed again. If your comb is too tight, you can go to the doctor.

    Don't walk around in pain. As you can see, most causes are harmless and can be remedied with one visit to the doctor. If one such visit can bring the fun back to the bedroom (or elsewhere, wherever you like), then it's worth it, right?


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